I myself was kind of impressed with the size of the machines,” said Larry King, who is serving an eight-month sentence for drug possession. Mr. King (not the CNN host) had no previous kitchen experience before he began working in the bakery two months ago. He earns 39 cents an hour, which he uses to buy toothpaste and soap at the jail commissary.

Lesson: When your garage starts smelling weird, do not hesitate — INVESTIGATE. Instead I was all like, “Oh, it’s probably a seasonal smell, related to pollen.” Yeah right! It was related to about 10,000 pounds of dried-up cat poopoo and an emaciated cat with grubs and bugs crawling all over it like some vision of Dante’s nightmare on Elm Street. I entered a spiritual malaise over that action. Oh, wait — Minute to Win It is back on!